Growing up...

After being stuck in a complicated relationship with my one and only love - pretty girl, i really feel like I kinda like Titanic crashing onto the big ice berg...She really caught all my attention..I can't stop staring at her when we were having dinner, or when she is drunk in my car, or when we having lunch togher, or when we were watching series in our hall. She is sooooooo attractive that I don't realise until i feel like i going to lost her. Like the old 1 said, you will never appreciate until you lose it. >.<><

Being depress, jealous, and sad for what had been done, I realise all these will only make her to leave me even faster. Thus, I decided to improve myself rather then forcing her to make decision. At least this will benefits me in future even she decided to leave me.

I began to grow up after Pelly told me about what a gals actually needs. I realise how dumb I am, how childish i am, how useless I am. I started to look at myself, how can you blame her to leave you when you dun even know how to take care of yourself. I was loving her too much! Even more than I love myself! I just realise this. Everytime when shopping, I just shop for her, I will choose a pretty dress to buy for her rather than taking time to choose for myself. Everything i did, i did it for her. I am too dependant on her or i should say my life is full of her.

I started to grow, from the way i dress, the way i speak to her or even other gal and my customer, I realise, slowly, I feel more confident in myself. I realise the way I speak in that way really can make a gal got interested inyou. I tried this for the first time with a gal i knew when queing up to buy my lunch. I tease her and she look very happily and even say bye after bought the food before left. Then i realise, if I was my ex-me, I will not tease a gal like that. I would think she may feel i am a playboy or something and go. From here, I understand why pretty girl will feel bored with our relationship. A gal want thier bf to be like KL people, who will tease them and make them happy. But they want their husband to be like Kampung people, who will love them 100% . I realise, I really need to improve myself.

Remember the first day i started to tease pretty girl, I started to take her as a fren and began to chase her like v were nv been together be4. I admit i am not that good in teasing still compare to laurence, that why until today she still so into that guy. Even I can hear from their conversation, pretty girl is happy compare if chatting with me. Sometime I really feel like giving up, stop wasting time to chase her back and go chase for other gals. Especially today when we were having dinner in BBQ plaza (one of our favourite restaurant) when she were talking with that guy. I was like ...dunno how to do and just can sit there listen to what they said, listen to how my pretty girl being tease by him, listen to how she happily respond to that guy...I really feel my effort of 90% is like his 9% effort. I really dun get it, I tot a gals want a guy who really care them. But I really cant see much of this guy care about my pretty girl, he was like when free or when feel like boring only find her. Maybe when he wrote " I have bored playing with you" is what is really in his mind. But what can I do, Love cant be force, as my dad said, just let it be, concentrate on your future.

When we were on the way back from One Utama after dinner in BBQ plaza, in the car, she mentioned she feel I slowly from Kampong ppl moving to neutral. When i asked the reason, she said I still too fat and because of size, I still cant win her heart from laurence. Also, she feel that wat I had change is like fake change...like i purposely do that change. I was like =.=" can pretend to change de meh? I understand my change is too fast. Actually not i change very fast, it's just that I just show who i actually am. The biggest changed in me is i became more DARING, BRAVE, CONFIDENT. With these changes, i dare to speak wat i not dare to speak, dare to do what i not dare to do. I understand she needs time to feel my changes, and again, as the song, I will wait for you. I will show you how much i change, how I slowly become more mature.

Baby....please give me a second chance, I will promise this time I will make our Love right. This is what i always hope to say to you but I neve say. I dun want to force you. I can only indirectly play the song to you when you in my car.

Baby...I will wait for you. It is the last thing i can do. Don't say I ran out of time, If it take the rest of my life, I will still waiting you.